~FAcreature

Well, not exactly, but I've always been a fan of the classic titles, and it does convey the feeling I'm trying to get across.

It's been a while since my last journal, and a lot has happened, both in the world at large and in my own little sliver of that world. I've a new direction at school, and I have new responsibilities at work that mean not only a bigger paycheck, but having to be the hardass that rains on someones parade. I've always considered myself a pretty easy going guy, but at some point in everyone's life they have to not only take accountability for their own actions, but the actions of those around them. Not going into detail, but I DEEPLY DESPISE having to be the bad guy when some mental midget thinks they're still in high school.


That said, I've had precious little time for properly commenting on all the great work I've fav'd, let alone writing any new stories. I was, am, and always will be a female expansion fan, but I just do not have the time to fully participate in the online drama that is DA. I still am very grateful for, and have the greatest respect for all the incredible work out there, but this can't compare with going out and living, doing some of the things I've only read about before.

So, thank you all out there for the great art, please enjoy my meager contributions as you will, and though I may see some of you around here, this is pretty much it for me.

Thanks for the memories

...though, could someone good at math explain how I got 12k veiws with only 2 stories??



P.S.
I recently came across this list of VERY bad analogies, and thought they might bring a smirk to some of my fellow writers faces. HINT: If you see anything like these in a future story of yours, stop, step away from the computer, and gently beat yourself in the head with a thesaurus until you come to your senses.


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of look ing at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 .

12. Her hair gl istene d in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River .

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only o ne that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.